all ladybirds must die

the one where i finally find my 'place', and it smells of sewage

i wanna go where culture is,
like new york
drink bath water coffee 
and give it stupid names
like the devil's piss
and sidewalk soup.

i could write, write, write
and no one would care
how bad it all was,
because of pizza 
and the subway.

a place where spiderman's ok
but the ants
and the ladybirds,
well they get squished
under birkenstocks,
turned into rat snacks
and no one ever slows down to notice. 
HEY, I'M WALKIN' HERE

i'd hang around the NYU campus,
pretending to speak on the phone,
hoping someone'll fuck me
because of my accent.
"wait... are you like, british"

yes, luv. i am indeed.

spend the night in her shoebox
inhaling dust of exposed brick
and doing coke laced with cream cheese,
no wonder they never sleep
but that's networking right there —
that's that culture thing i told you about.

i wanna go where culture is,
like new york,
or at least connecticut
or new hampshire
live in the woods
maybe then i could write, write, write
and someone would care.

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this poem was inspired by the film lady bird, the best film about new york that isn’t actually about new york i think i’ve ever seen.